Six Suggestions for Promoting the Health, Happiness, and Continued Well-Being of Your Book Club

There are no rules for what makes a successful book club – they’re as individual as their members, and what works for one group doesn’t necessarily make it for another. Still, my limited experience as a book club member leads me to offer some guidelines – I give you the following:

1. What happens in the book club stays in the book club. You totter home after three glasses of wine and your husband asks, “What did you talk about?” You tell him you talked about the book. You do NOT tell him you talked about Irene’s divorce, Terri’s daughter’s drinking problem, or Sue’s husband’s colonoscopy. The book. That’s what you talked about. That’s what you say. And then you go to bed.
2. The wonderful thing about a book club is that the other members will frequently disagree with you about the main character, the plot, or the way it was written. This is also the irritating thing about a book club. There are no wrong answers. A book club is not a test. All opinions are equal, which leads me to Rule #3:
3. Be nice. You may be astonished that anyone could read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and not see that the violence is overblown and faintly ridiculous. You may have loved Room: A novel so much you take it as a personal affront that someone else in the group thought it was claustrophobic dreck. You would like to slap that person – or, at the very least, call her an idiot. Don’t. You’re allowed to think it. You just don’t say it.
4. Give equal time. Remember the irritating girl in junior high who always had her hand up no matter what was asked? Who always had an opinion no matter the topic? Who just loved to hear herself talk? That was me. In the intervening years I learned to shut up now and then and let other people talk. It’s a good way, I find, to learn stuff, and it makes for more interesting conversations. Don’t let the talkers dominate the group. Whether it takes a stopwatch or a talking stick or someone brave enough to interrupt the talkers, find a way to let everybody say what they want to say before moving on.
5. All book clubs start out being about books, but most of them don’t stay there. They become something else, and if you like the something else they become, you’re happy. And if you don’t, then – well, you’re not. There comes a time in the life of every book club when you have to decide: what kind of book club are you? There are book clubs that are wine clubs, there are book clubs that are social networking clubs, and there are book clubs that are all about food.  Make a decision: is it a book club or is it a food club? In my experience, a glass – or several glasses – of wine stimulates discussion. But food can take over. If you join a club of foodies, you’ll find yourself making tandoori chicken for The White Tiger and oxtail soup for Water for Elephants. I’m not saying this is a bad thing – I’m just saying you should be prepared.
6. Have fun. If it stops being fun, talk about it. Fix it. And if it can’t be fixed, move on. Life’s too short to spend time reading books you don’t enjoy and discussing them with people you don’t particularly like.

Margie Taylor is a writer, editor and former journalist living in Guelph, Ontario.  To learn more about how to get your hands on her hilarious book, “60 is the new 20”, visit www.margietaylor.com.

You barely survived the teenage phase the first time around, but now your precious grandchildren are hitting their teens.

Here are five things your teen won’t tell you – or won’t tell you nicely. In fact, they may even speak cryptically or grunt and assume telling you doesn’t “really” do any good.  If you want to help “the parents” out a bit as they venture into the “world of teen”, here is a great list from our favourite teen expert, Dr. Russell Hyken, PhD.

Privacy
Teens resent that you go through their stuff in their rooms, back packs, or coat pockets. Provide your kids with warnings about what you need so you won’t have to search. Unless there is a real reason to invade their privacy–let them have space.

They May Be Dating
Many parents say no to dating until a certain age. Here is the thing, if a teen wants to spend time with the opposite sex, they will. Parents should develop a relaxed attitude that fosters open communication. That way, when your teen does become interested in dating, you will be able to discuss and know who they are with and what they are doing.

Grades
Many good students may not get good grades on every assignment. Sometimes that “A” student skips an assignment or brings home a low grade because they just need a break. Parents should avoid getting annoyed and/or expressing disappointment. It is only a problem when it occurs perpetually.

Don’t Hold Siblings Accountable
Nothing gripes an older sibling more than to seeing his younger sister get away with something for which he was punished. Hold the younger ones accountable! You don’t have to have the same consequences, but the rules should generally apply to all. For example, NO Cussing!

Using Age to Your Parental Advantage
“You are 16, so act like an adult.” Then you say, “you are too young to do ________.” Make up your mind. Age appropriateness is subjective, so don’t give your kids hard and fast rules that are based on age. Instead have reasonable guidelines that make sense such as take your dishes to the sink after dinner.

*Info for this article was obtained from 10 Things Your Teenager Won’t Tell You by Kimberly Fusaro fromWomansDay.com.

My son loved learning and using animal signs.  We were kept waiting for a doctor’s appointment for over an hour when he was thirteen months old and I’ve never been more thankful for Jackson’s use of sign language and the well-used stack of board books tucked in the corner of the doctor’s office.   He learned the sign for sheep that day as he bounced back and forth between the pages of a tattered farm book.

Contrary to what a lot of people believe about signing with kids, I didn’t spend hours with my children teaching them sign language.  My husband and I didn’t set time aside for lessons or force them.  We didn’t tie rewards to learning a new sign or withhold objects from them until they asked properly or used the appropriate gesture.    Using sign language with hearing, preverbal children should be fun and simple – never stressful.  And, as the beloved grandparents you can join in and watch baby’s interests develop in a way that is both beautiful and incredibly fun.

Here are just a few simple things you can do to take part in your grandchild’s signing adventure.

The signs for eat, more, milk and finished are generally recommended to be babies first signs because the hand signs are distinct and words closely tied to their needs.  Use the signs in context; if you’re feeding baby use the special time to talk and sign to them as you play airplane with their spoon, “Ready to eat? Look at you eat your cereal!”

You want to be verbal as well when signing with baby.  Coupling the sign with the spoken word will build on both their verbal and signing vocabularies.

Ask baby’s mom or dad what signs they’re working on and try to reinforce those signs when you’re playing.

The sign for ‘more’ is a great one to use while playing.   Get baby giggling with a tickle or rousing game of peek-a-boo.  “More?  More peek-a-boo?”  It won’t take long for baby to understand the sign and be able to tell you to continue all on their own!

Always have fun.  Start with a few signs at a time and use baby’s interests as your guide.  If they love  that fish in the storybook, look up the sign for ‘fish’ and use it as you read the story.  You will love it the first time they ask you to read the ‘fish’ book!

Using baby sign language, or gestures, with hearing preverbal children allows you to revel in and experience their exploration and wonder with them.   It’s so easy and fun to do, yet, so powerful.  Happy signing!

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Kathy Moores is mom of two and owner of mocobabies.  She started making signing products out of a desire to help her family participate in the signing experience. All products are based on American Sign Language.   www.mocobabies.com

Ingredients

• 1 pound of whole wheat elbow noodles, plus a handful of whole wheat rotini or fusili noodles, since the standard box of elbows is just below 1 pound, add a few of the other noodle and call them ‘treasures’.
• 4 cups of 1% milk
• 8 tablespoons of butter (1 stick)
• ½ cup of white flour
• 3 cups shredded Cheddar Cheese

1 – Boil water and cook noodles according to package instructions.

2 – While the pasta is boiling, pour the milk in a glass container and microwave on high for 3 minutes.

3 – Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat.  Whisk in the flour, stir for 1 – 2 minutes to make a roux.  Whisk in the hot milk and bring to a simmer, continuing to whisk  until the liquid has thickened and is smooth for about 2 – 3 minutes.

4 – Stir in the 3 cups of cheese and whisk until blended.

5 – After the pasta is cooked and rinsed, mix it into the sauce until all the noodles are coated.  Allow it to simmer for 1 more minute, then serve.

This recipe makes a very generous helping for lunch or dinner, package up the leftovers, label it and freeze it for another meal when you are having too much fun to cook!

Tested by Sandi S

When is comes to having the grandchildren over at the house, they always assume you are going to give them a treat…  Here is a delicious and easy recipe you can make with them and it will be better than what comes out of those boxes at the grocery store.

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 TSP Kosher salt
1 TSP baking powder
6 TBSP butter at room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
2 large eggs (at room temp)
2 TSP vanilla extract
1 ½ cups chocolate chips (preferably dark choc)

Topping
4 TBSP cinnamon
1/4 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 325

- Sift flour, salt, and baking powder, set aside
- Beat butter and sugar
- Add eggs and vanilla, mix well
- Combine wet and dry mixtures until dough is sticky
- Fold in chocolate chips
- Divide dough into two logs on a parchment covered cookie sheet
- Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar
- Bake logs for roughly 25 min
- Remove from oven, cool 10 min
- Cut logs into strips on the diagonal (roughly 1/2 inch per cookie)
- Lie flat on cookie sheet

** Reduce oven temp to 250
- Bake for 20- 30 minutes longer. After 20 minutes, the cookies will still be a bit soft.  If you want to achieve a crunchier consistency, continue baking for longer until they are as crunchy as you like them.  Keep in mind that when baking them for the grandchildren it will be easier for them to bite into the slightly softer ones.

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Tested by Sandi S

Recipe provide by Caroline Davis of Two Moms Baked Goods

Do you know what’s in your foods? Label reading is key for healthy eating, and our partners at NaturallySavvy believe in it so much they made it a key part of their new book, Unjunk Your Junk Food (Gallery Books). If you’re just starting to read labels, we want to make it easy for you to recognize the worst of the worst offenders. Here is our list of the seven worst ingredients in food - The Scary Seven.

High-Fructose Corn Syrup

High-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is a concentrated and inexpensive sugar substitute made from yellow dent corn. It’s used to sweeten beverages, including soft drinks, and according to the American Heart Association, these liquid calories are more likely to lead to weight gain as compared to calories from solid foods. In fact, HFCS goes right to your liver where it’s converted to fat, increasing your risk of heart disease. HFCS is definitely one of the worst ingredients you can find in your junk food.

Artificial Sweeteners

While sugar is to be avoided, many of the artificial sweeteners on the market are about as bad for you. Acesulfame potassium (also known as ace K and sold under the brand names Sunett and Sweet One) is a calorie-free sweetener, and while early studies indicated it may cause cancer in animals, little research has been done since it was approved in 1988. Aspartame, the sweetener in Equal and NutraSweet, is found in more than 5,000 products. The body converts aspartame to formaldehyde, a carcinogen that’s used in embalming and to treat lumber. Aspartame has been linked to numerous adverse effects, including headaches, dizziness, mood changes, convulsions and memory loss, and the FDA has received more complaints related to aspartame than any other food additive. Neotame is chemically similar to aspartame, but there have been no long-term studies to ensure its safety. Saccharin, in Sweet’N Low, was the first commercial artificial sweetener, and it’s been shown to cause cancer in animals and is a suspected human carcinogen. Finally, Sucralose, sold under the name Splenda, is 600 times sweeter than sugar, and a study out of Duke University showed it reduced the healthy bacteria in the intestines of male rats by 50 percent.

MSG

Third on our worst ingredients list is monosodium glutamate, or MSG, which is an artificial flavor found in thousands of processed foods, from fast food to chips to soup. While the FDA has classified MSG as “generally recognized as safe,” there have been numerous consumer complaints related to adverse reactions to foods containing MSG, including swelling, facial numbness, heart palpitations, nausea and weakness. The good news? There are lots of MSG-free alternatives out there to choose from, so you can still enjoy your favourite foods simply by choosing brands that don’t contain this additive.

Artificial Flavors

When you see “artificial flavors” on a food label, it could mean a single unnatural additive or a blend of hundreds of chemicals. Strawberry flavor, for example, contains 49 chemical ingredients. Other worst offenders in this category include artificial raspberry flavor and artificial butter flavor (found in popcorn). And with so many delicious naturally flavored foods out there, why reach for something loaded with artificial ingredients?

Trans Fat

Each day Americans ingest an average of 5.8 grams of trans fat–also referred to as partially hydrogenated oils. Vegetable oils are hydrogenated to transform them from a liquid to a solid fat, which is done to create a desired consistency and to increase the shelf life of foods. But trans fat raises your triglyceride and low density lipoprotein (LDL, the bad cholesterol) levels, which not only increases your risk of heart attack, but has been linked to prostate cancer, breast cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes and obesity. Indeed, it’s estimated that trans fats cause at least 30,000 deaths each year. Even if you already check labels for “trans fat,” you could be ingesting small amounts in your foods because the FDA allows food manufacturers to state “0 trans fat” on labels if the food contains less than 0.5 grams trans fat per serving. Read the ingredients list and if you see “partially hydrogenated,” you’ll know it does, in fact, contain trans fat.

Artificial Colors

Found in everything from cereals to cosmetics, candy to pharmaceutical drugs, artificial colours make things look pretty, but they’re deceptive. Pediatricians and parents have long complained about artificial colours in foods, and recent studies support anecdotal evidence that artificial dyes affect children’s behavior. Most artificial dyes have been linked to hyperactivity, attention deficit disorder (ADD) and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and two studies have found that artificial dyes affect the behavior of children without behavioral disorders.

Preservatives

Prepared foods are packed with preservatives to elongate their shelf life. But these chemicals can have a detrimental effect on your health, and many are allergens and/or possible carcinogens. BHA (butylated hydroxyanisole) and BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene) have been known to affect kidney and liver function, and they’re considered a possible carcinogen. Polysorbate 60, 65 and 80 have been shown to affect the immune system and have caused severe anaphylactic shock–a potentially lethal allergic reaction. Several studies have also linked polysorbate 80 to infertility. Sodium benzoate is also linked to allergic reactions and is a carcinogen. Sulfites, a type of preservative used in dried fruit, wine, flavored vinegars, sausages and other foods, are common allergens and have been linked to headaches, bowel irritability, behavioral problems and rashes. Asthmatics need to be particularly careful about sulfites as they can cause a sudden constriction of the airways. TBHQ (tertiary butylhyroquinone), a petroleum-based food additive, has been associated with nausea, vomiting and tinnitus, and it has been linked to cancer. Lastly, nitrates, used to cure meats, combine with stomach acids to produce nitrosamines, which have been linked to cancer.

Today’s grandmas have to be creative to stay connected with our grandchildren. As part of the digital generation, our grandchildren tend to have short attention spans and favor visual stimulation.

If you’re a long-distance grandma, making the connection can be even more challenging. I understand the challenge because my two granddaughters live 140 miles away. I’ve found that by combining old traditions (reading books) and new technology (Skype) we can bridge the miles and spend some quality time together

One of our favorite ways to get together is on Skype. I’ve written about how to set up Skype on another post. In between our visits to see the girls we have regular Skype story hours with them. I select books from the library that relate to some of their current activities. Recently, we went through a series of books about horses because they’re volunteering at an equine rescue and rehabilitation facility. I also found an adorable book called Sneezy Louise for my younger granddaughter, who had a cold.

The two sisters both love books and squeeze onto a chair together in front of their computer screen. I hold up the books in front of my screen so they can see the pages while I read to them. It takes some adjusting of the book and camera to find the optimum angle. The best books for Skype are ones with bright colored illustrations and not too much print. Sometimes we all take turns reading together. We did that with Sneezy Louise because the four-year old loves to repeat the refrain when Louise says: Achoo! If I hold the page close enough to the screen, the seven-year old can read it on her screen.

One of my grandma friends, Cheri, always inspires me with her creative ideas for Skyping with her grandsons, ages four and two. Here are some of her ideas:

•     Dress for the occasion. Wear a hat or accessory appropriate for the weather, the season, a holiday or special event. Cheri has arrived for the call wearing sunglasses or holding an umbrella. She wore a Giants baseball cap and scarf after the Giants World Series victory.
•     Play games they enjoy—Hide and Go Seek and Simon Says are great for younger children.
•     Sing songs with finger plays or actions like Head Shoulders Knees and Toes. Use small finger puppets to sing along with your grandchild.

Seeing your grandchildren on a computer screen pales in comparison to being there. But it sure beats trying to connect on the phone—especially when they’re too little to understand what’s going on. The visual connection keeps the relationship thriving and we’re a lot better off than our grandparents were with only snail mail and phone calls.

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Donne Davis is a writer, speaker, and founder of the GaGa Sisterhood, a national social network for grandmothers. She founded the GaGa Sisterhood in 2003 after witnessing the birth of her first grandchild. She writes about the joys and challenges of being a grandma on her blog: gagasisterhood.com. She has two grown children and two grandchildren.

Etiquette – teaching your grandchild the rules of the game is important; teaching them the etiquette of the game is critical.  If you want to enjoy a nice day on the links with your little one, they need to understand the do’s and the don’ts of a golf course.  Keep the do’s and don’ts clear and concise.   Safety, courtesy and care.

Safety-There are a few key rules to keep your grandchildren safe on the golf course.  Children should always keep their distance from the person swinging, however they should never wander off and no matter how much they plead, golf carts are not toys.  Young children should never be behind the wheel of the golf cart.

Courtesy-Children have been taught to use their indoor voices indoors and their outdoor voices outside, however, this rule changes when you hit the links. Loud voices are discouraged on a golf course and your little ones will need a few reminders.

Care-Golf courses are meticulously cared for.  Every blade of grass is given a little extra love.  This is a great place and time to teach your grandchildren about caring for the beautiful nature that surrounds them.  Kicking their heels on the putting green is frowned upon.

Golfing is an expensive sport.  For an inexpensive introduction to the game, consider a few options.  Watch golf with your grandchild.  Take the time to watch the golf channel or the Masters.  Golf chains like Golf Town have mini putting greens in the store and well trained employees to assist you.  A great event to keep in mind is the CPGA “Kids golf free” event that is held all over Canada every July.  This year, the event will be held from July 9-July 15^th.  To find participating courses near you, check out www.kidsgolffree.ca

If your grandchild has the golfing bug and you want to help foster his or her passion for the game remember, kids grow rapidly.  If you want to buy them clubs, consider buying their clubs used.  Chances are they were only used a few times by their original owner.  Do not buy an entire set until you know the level of interest that your grandchild has in the game.  You can simply buy an iron or a putter to begin with.  Then plan some outings to year-round golf domes, driving ranges and eventually to public courses that allow young children.  Many coupon books, like the Entertainment Book offer coupons for golf courses in your area.  To purchase an Entertainment Book, go to www.entertainment-savings-offers.com/entertainment-book.  Group coupons, like Groupon also have many deals on golf courses and driving ranges.

Golf is one sport that you can do for your entire lifetime.  If you have loved the game all of these year, why not introduce your grandchildren to it as early as possible?  They will thank you for it every spring as they dust off their clubs.